Did you ever wonder if you could trust those rating sites on their reviews of movies? I mean all those strangers can’t know if you’re gonna like a movie! Leave it to just one stranger... me. I’m gonna tell you whether or not you should watch movies (there may be spoilers). For all the detailed spoilery goodness check out my detailed reviews. Let’s go.
Movie name: Black Devil Doll From Hell
Genre(s): Horror, WTF, soft core porn.
Main character(s): Churchy Lady, The Black Devil Doll, The guy who hangs out around Churchy Lady's house, the lady on the phone, and the Childlike Thrift Store Owner.
One line-ish plot summary: A very religious woman buys a magical ventriloquist dummy from a thrift store. The dummy turns her into a sex fiend and kills her because she wanted him to commit to her. Seriously.
Best character: The stuffed bunny they kept zooming in on that has no consequence to the plot. It looked how I felt.
Worst character: The Churchy Lady. Awful acting.
Best moment: When Churchy Lady meets a guy at a bar with a sweet blow out and they dance.
Worst moment: The sex scenes and the dolls deep, raspy, Bleeding Gums Murphy vs Louis Armstrong voice.
Plot twists?: The doll goes back to the thrift store at the end to be sold to another bored undersexed lady. I think the doll and the Childlike Thrift Store Owner have a deal worked out where she sells him to unsuspecting victims and he kills them and comes back to the store. Dead people don't ask for refunds- business school 101.
How was the ending?: Great, it's open for interpretation. See above.
Sequels/prequels?: In 2007 they made a sequel (prequel?) IDK I didn't look into it too hard.
Is this a good movie?: NO
Why did Kayla watch this movie?: I was lead down a wayward path by funny gifs I saw on Tumblr, the devil's website. I didn't know there would be so many boobs and sex scenes or else I wouldn't have asked my mom to watch it with me. Thanks a lot Tumblr. The gifs weren't even tagged with trigger warnings!
Does Kayla like this movie?: NO
Should you watch this movie?: NO
Why you should watch this movie: Maybe if you are an adult who's never seen a boob and are curious as to what they look like. Don't let your children watch this. Someone let their child run around in a doll costume and wig for the production of this movie. Let them be the first and last child this film touches.
Where you can watch this movie (as of this posting): YouTube. But don't do it. The cringe to awkward laughter ratio is way too high.
Extra advice: Don't watch this with your mom, don't watch this with your kids, just don't watch it. Learn from my mistakes. Also, here's a video I made based on the fever dream this movie induced. Enjoy!